


Someday.

by spreadyourwingsandfly



Series: Someday [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s!Bucky, 1940s!Steve, Black!Reader - Freeform, F/M, Heartbreak, Interracial Relationship, Period-Typical Racism, Racism, Racist Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 18:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spreadyourwingsandfly/pseuds/spreadyourwingsandfly
Summary: ‘’Thank you for helping me,’’ you sigh, dropping the towel in the basin.‘’No need to thank me,’’ he tells you, and the moment is quiet again, ‘’Just tell me your name.’’You introduce yourself, finally able to relax your shoulders a beer before trying to continue the conversation, asking im what your name is.That doesn’t last for too long.The front door is open and in walks your younger sister, Jane.‘’Is anyone home?’’Steve and you are staring at each other with wide eyes. You’re both frozen to the spot, as if winter had suddenly come and you were too flowers with frost bite.Your sister, Jane enters, coat thrown over her arm and shoes in her hands.‘’You would not believe th day I’ve had! I had to stop three children from trying to sneak out of the library as if the books aren’t free with a library card, and….’’She stops.Gapes.Looks between you and the young man.‘’Well, I did not know that we had company,’’ she sticks her hand out for the young man to shake it, ‘’I’m Jane Jameson, her sister.’’‘’Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you, miss.’Ah so thats his name.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES- Segregation, racism, mild violence, harassment.

The world, and the people and things in it,or separated in many ways. Invisible lines create state and country boundaries. Animals from the wild are separated from domesticated animals. You even separate your laundry when you put the colored clothes in one side and the white clothes in the wash.  
This is done from preventing the colored clothes from bleeding onto the white clothing and ruining everything. It’s a very necessary and understandable things to do.  
You just wish people didn’t have that same mindset when it comes to people.  
The Year is 1940 and segregation is everywhere. From the schools, to the theatre. To the grocery store to your neighborhoods, you name it. There is a thin and invisible line, but it’s mighty powerful. It separates people.  
It’s been that way since you were a little girl, and probably before that. It’s a way of life. One that you’re not happy about, bit one that you have (begrudgingly) accepted for now.  
You know your role and you’re expected place. You go to work. Come home. Make dinner. Spend time with your family and Jeremy Coleman, the man down the street who your momma is just itchin’ to get you to settle down with.  
You and your sister, Jane, both decided that you find him attractive. However with ehr being just three years younger than you, your parents first priority is to find you a husband first.  
‘’Look, I know you’re smart and kind and sweet I know that, too.’’  
This is what your momma tells you every Sunday, as you sit in the kitchen and let her press your hair until it’s silky smooth and straight, the hot comb leaving nothing but straightened, ebony hair once she is done.   
‘’It’s just that well, he’s got a nice and steady job. Jeremy Coleman will be able to take care of you.’’  
‘I have a steady paying job myself, mother.’’  
‘’Yes. As a maid. I don’t want you to be working the same job that I am for the rest of your life.’’  
It’s not that your mother looks down on being a maid. No, she raised you and your four siblings to understand that there’s more life than fancy cars, expensive perfumes, flashy clothing and the like. You and your brothers and sister have bene hard workers since the day that you were born. All because your mother and daddy, Althea and Richard Jameson, are both hard workers.  
Your daddy is a handyman and carpenter, your mother cleans homes. Your older brother, Jacob, works as a delivery truck driver. Jane is currently a secretary, you clean houses to help pay for those night classes you’ve been meaning to take, and your younger brother, Jeffery, is in fifth grade at the elementary school down the street.  
‘’Now don’t start feeling your head with fantasies. Come right down here, back to earth, where you belong.’’  
That’s something that our mother is frequently telling you. To Come back to earth, where you belong. Because she is practical and you are her daydreamer child and she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with you.  
You wonder how she’s tell if she knew that, on the days that Mrs. Carlson lets you of early, you’re not going back to clean her house. No,,you’re going to the jazz club.   
That’s here you come alive. That’s where the music and the poetry in words moves through you and you move freely, hips keeping in time as you keep up with the best of them in your dancing.  
She’d chase you clear across town so what she’d do.  
Because the only way to get back home is to take the bus, and that bus can be dangerous. Especially at night.  
However, she doesn’t mind you taking the bus to get the groceries. You ignore dirty looks, pay for the bag’s worth of good, and leave.  
You’re casually waiting or the bus when an older, angrier man come to you.  
‘’You got no business being around here.’’  
‘’Sir, please,’’ you take in his pale skin, his bright brown eyes, ‘’I am just waiting for the bus.’’  
He doesn’t care. No, he chooses to harass you instead. You looks straight ahead and tighten your hold on your groceries, wondering if you should just walk the five miles home.  
‘’Hey, man. Leave her alone.’’  
You and the man who has unleashed his verbal attack on you look to see a scrawny-looking boy with pale skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair.  
You’re not ashamed to admit that you’ d find him attractive if it weren’t for the circumstances.  
Also, he might be dumb, because he deliberately picks a fight with the guy. He tries to defend you and he’s not much taller than you are and it’s really just a poor choice all around.  
Maybe that’s why he ends up knocked to the ground. His nose is bloody and he has a black eye and you definitely can’t get on the bus with him looking like that.  
So you take that fresh steak out of the bag.   
Have him press it to the eye.  
Trek back home, taking an hour to get from the store when it would have taken you only fifteen minutes to get to the bus stop across town and walk the fifteen minutes from there to your home.  
Trek back home, angry, sad, hurt, humiliated, and with a fresh steak because you have one to your hero on the sidewalk.  
Said hero tracks alongside you, and you try to ignore the glares, whispers,a dn wide=eyed looks from your neighbors as he follows you.  
He hasn’t spoken a word to you since you insisted (demanded) that he walks home with you so you can fix up that lip of his.  
From the way he speeds up so that he’s walking right alongside you, you can tell that he whispers of your neighbors gossiping hurt more than his black eye and busted lip.  
You sit him down in a wooden chair in the small kitchen of your home. You press the cold towel to his lip and give him an ice pack for thateye.  
You clean it.   
Avoid making eye contact with him.  
Wonder how you been got yourself into this.  
‘’What made you go and fight him?’’  
That’s the first word you’ve spoken to him since you left the bus stop, and it startles him.  
‘’Beg your pardon?’’  
‘’What made you fight him? I can take care of myself,’’ you say calmly, rinsing the bloody towel in the basin of water.  
‘’I couldn’t stand by and let him talk to you like that, miss.’’  
‘’Nothing I haven’t heard before. You’d do wise to stay in your own lane next time.’’  
‘’He would’ve done wise to stay in his own lane and not insulted you. He had no right. You were standing there, minding your own business.’’  
You stare into his eyes for the first time, and there’s something in here. It’s comparison mixed with determination mixed with something you can’t quite read.  
‘’You’re good at this.’’  
‘’Thank you,’’ you respond to his compliment, ‘’I’d like to be a nurse someday, but…’’  
You let that hang in the air. You know that he knows- the rest of that sentence is definitely implied and well-known. You’re not sure if you want to continue this conversation, after the day you’ve had.   
‘’Thank you for helping me,’’ you sigh, dropping the towel in the basin.  
‘’No need to thank me,’’ he tells you, and the moment is quiet again, ‘’Just tell me your name.’’  
You introduce yourself, finally able to relax your shoulders a beer before trying to continue the conversation, asking im what your name is.  
That doesn’t last for too long.   
The front door is open and in walks your younger sister, Jane.  
‘’Is anyone home?’’  
Steve and you are staring at each other with wide eyes. You’re both frozen to the spot, as if winter had suddenly come and you were too flowers with frost bite.  
Your sister, Jane enters, coat thrown over her arm and shoes in her hands.  
‘’You would not believe th day I’ve had! I had to stop three children from trying to sneak out of the library as if the books aren’t free with a library card, and….’’  
She stops.  
Gapes.  
Looks between you and the young man.  
‘’Well, I did not know that we had company,’’ she sticks her hand out for the young man to shake it, ‘’I’m Jane Jameson, her sister.’’  
‘’Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you, miss.’  
Ah so thats his name.  
Jane is looking a you as she tucks her short hair behind her ears, ready for an explanation.  
‘’Steve saved me and walked me home. Someone at the bus stop decided that it was a perfect day for yelling at me.’’  
She shakes her head, no stranger to this scenario. She gets it all of the time, especially on ehr commute to work.  
Jane is your best friend. You two have been sharing a room ever since she was born and will continue to do so until one of you moves out. She’s the quiet one to your outgoing personality. But she’s also really smart, really sweet, and really aware. You can see the wheels in her mind turning when you look at her face, and you know she’s on to something good.  
Right now she’s trying to figure out why this handsome young man is sitting in your kitchen.  
She can’t ponder that much longer because you hear a truck door slam shut, and you both lo at each other in a panic.  
‘’He’s got to get out of here. Jacob is here.’’  
She rushes to the front door to try to stall Jacob as you usher Steve out the back door. You explain to him as well as you can why he has to leave- ‘’My brother won’t take too kindly to seeing you here.’’  
‘’Got a thing against stranger's’’ Steve asks as you rush across your small backyard.  
‘’Something like that,’’ you admit, opening the back gate and pointing down the alley, ‘’Just back the way we came and you’ll get to the bus stop. Can’t miss it.’’  
‘’Thank you. It was nice talking to you.’’  
He takes your directions and you silently wish that the small part that is disappointed that he didn’t ask to see you again would just hush up.  
That’s not the kind of world you live in. He knows that. You definitely know it.  
So you return to your house, still kicking yourself and trying to forget the event of this day.  
That night, as you and Jane lay in your bedroom, you try to release the days’ events form your mind to no avail. You toss and you turb, thinking about heros with scrawny arms and blue eyes so deep that they could see right into your mind if they wanted to. You’re sure of it.  
Steve lays awake that night, too. Thinking of ebony curls and smooth skin so different from his own and a variety of other things that he knows he can’t tell Bucky about.  
He lays awake, wondering if he’ll ever see you again.  
It’s not practical. He knows that. You know that. He knows you know that. So why doe he want to believe the opposite and go against what he knows is possible for you two?  
That’s the last thing that he ponders before he finally drifts off to sleep, images of the day playing in his head.  
Maybe it’s the rush he got form helping you or the little bit of dreamer inside of him, but he believes that he’ll see you again.  
In fact, he know that he will.  
Until then, though, he’s content with waiting for that day.  
He’ll have to be.  
Until that day finally comes along.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES- Segregation, racism, interracial relationships being disapproved of, parental disapproval, perceived disapproval from a friend but he’s really just concerned, lying, sneaking around, secret relationships.

For the purpose of the story, the reader and her family are Christian. Plus, I based it off of myself a bit.   
Jazz music.  
It’s something that your very religious parents would never allow in their house. No, nothing but Sunday morning hymns and Gospel music for the Jameson household. And it’s not that you don’t love those songs. You can sing with the best of them, and those songs define your entire childhood. You have vivid memories of sitting on the back porch with Jane, singing songs that you’d sang in church earlier that day as you braid her hair, sip lemonade, and wait on your mother’s Sunday Evening dinner of Roast beef, potatoes, carrots, rolls, and creamed corn to be done.  
Jazz music, through… that’s when you come live. The dance floor is your safe haven. Other than the church and your home, it’s the one place you can simply be yourself.   
Plus, Jeremy Coleman would never set foot in the place. He doesn’t like dancing. You know that from the awkward conversations you had when your mothers left you alone to talk.This isn’t his cup of tea, so you’ll gladly drink from it.  
It’s a safe haven, In a world where segregation is the norm, and you are no stranger to being harassed because of the color of your skin, you need all of the safety and peace you can get it, when you can get it. While it does sink that there is no way for you and people who don’t look like you to dance together, you’re grateful for the chance to dance when you can.  
‘’I don't’ see why I had to come along,’’ Jane huffs, pulling at the red fabric of her dress.  
Jane hates dancing. He can’t stand it. She’ll watch you twirl around the room and down the hallway of your small home as your parents and brothers just started.  
This is another scene. It really isn’t. But you’re her best friend and her sister and this is your scene. She remembers dragging you to the library countless times as a young child and this is a way to sort of pay you back.  
She’s holding tightly to your arm as weave your way through the crowd that’s gathering at seats and into a corner, where she can sit and observe and you can leave your coat and purse to go and cut a rug on the dance floor.  
It’s only twice a month that yo get to come here. Currently, your mother thinks Jane is cleaning houses with you to earn some extra money.   
That’s what you always tell her.  
Then you change and leave the clothes where you know you’ll find them.  
You come here.  
You have a drink.  
Next thing you know, you’re swing dancing with some good looking young man and having the time of your life.  
And you know full well that your mother would tan your backside if she ever found out and Jacob would drag you away. So this secret stays between you and Jane.  
Jane is currently watching on with disdain as your eyes scan the dancefloor, looking for a suitable partner. Every girl is with a guy, skirts flowing as the men twirl them around the dance floors like dainty, human tops.   
It’s got you moving your legs, and then your feet are moving until you’re out on the floor, doing your own thing, dancing to the music yourself.  
It’s fine and it’s fun and it’s cool. It’s how your Saturdays at a dancehall always go until you’re returning to your table and someone drops a glass. It’s hard to see the broken glass in the dimly lit nightclub, so others side step it. You’re Half tempted to pick up the bigger pieces, just so whoever comes to clean up doesn’t find a nasty surprise sticking through the bottom of their shoe.   
‘’Hey, can I get someone over here to clean this up?’’  
You’re used to tall the guys that work here- you’ve danced with all of them at least once. Seeing a handsome man with brown eyes and brown skin and short, cropped, black hair is nothing new.  
What is new is seeing the ivory-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde-haired man rushing forward to sweep the fragments onto glass, reminding you to watch your step.  
‘’Please, let me help you.’’  
You take the rag that he came with and attempt to mop up the spilled drink while the new cleaner picks up the smaller pieces with the broom and then the bigger pieces by hand.  
‘’Thank you so much, miss.’’  
‘’It’s no trouble at all. Clean houses all day. I know what it’s like to be busy and then accidents happen, and… Steve Rogers?’’  
‘’He looks up form where he is playing the broken glass covered rag into a bin, and his eyes nearly pop out of his head when he recognizes you, ‘’Um, hello. Fancy meeting you here.’’  
You quirk an eyebrow at that tired pick-up line, ‘’This is more my territory than yours, wouldn’t you say?’’  
He nods a bit before looking to his dark colored shoes, blushing, ‘’I’m just using the lines that my friend Bucky Uses. I have no idea how to talk to a woman.’’  
This throws you a bit, but you don't’ show it. Because not only is he very, obviously attracted to you, but he’s treating you like any other human being.  
Maybe that’s why, on his break, you find yourself talking to him in the alley as he enjoys a sandwich from the kitchen and you sip a glass of water.  
‘’I need extra money. This place was hiring, I like it here, and it pays decent enough,’’ hesitates as if it were that simple.  
You suppose that, in his mind, it really is. He can come work here. You could work at nightclubs that ‘’should’’ be more of ‘’his scene’’, but you know that you would not be treated so kindly if you di. Despite some looks of respite on the parts of your peers at his particular nightclub, Steve obviously hasn’t been harassed much in the two weeks that he’s been here.  
You like that he is talking to you in a way that is real. He tells you about how he’s currently living with his old high school friend, and that he wants to be apart of something bigger, that he has dreams and hopes and plans that go even further than Brooklyn, New York.  
There must be something in the air tonight, because you tell him that your dreams go far beyond the walls of your family’s home. That you dream of being a nurse but worry, and for good reason. It’s not that you can’t be a nurse- there are plenty of nurses that look like you. It’s that you’re worried what others will say about you and your plans. He doesn’t tell you that he understands, no. but you see it in the glint of sadness in his sapphire eyes.  
He can’t be sympathetic, no, but he’s empathetic. It’s look you’ve only seen a few times and it still feels you with emotion each time.   
He’s something special, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it.  
Maybe that’s why you end up teaching some dance lessons to him in the alley, fifteen minutes before his thirty minute break is over. He’s laughing, you’re giggling, and, for once,the world isn’t in black and white, literally or figuratively.  
It’s in bold, screaming, dazzling color and you could kick yourself for admitting it, but…  
Maybe, by the end of the night, yo have some sort of crush on this boy.  
And maybe he’s the reason you’re going to do your best to sneak over here again next Saturday, exchanging the promise and thrill of his company for the lure of the wooden dance floor and eyes on you and skirt squishing around you as you step in time to the music.  
He’s got a hold of you that not even dancing and sneaking around does for you.  
That says something.  
‘’You look beautiful tonight, doll,’’ Steve tells you as you lean against the wall outside, the cold air doing little to soothe your overheated, flushed skin.  
‘’The band is really jumpin’ tonight!,’’ you remind him, ‘’Everyone’s having fun.’’  
‘’Everyone who’s having fun can actually dance, doll,’’ he laughs, shaking his head, ‘’You’ll notice it’s my night off and you don’t even see me out there.’’  
You hadn’t even noticed that. Steve has been sitting at your table all night, guarding your purse and keeping Jane company while you were twirled and dipped and carried and swung on the dancefloor.  
‘’I am just glad that you were having a good time. I can’t dance, you know.’’  
‘’Steve Rogers, anyone can dance,’’ you roll your eyes, setting down your cool drink of water and taking his hands in yours.  
It’s beautiful, really- the contrast of his pale skin against your own skin. It’s something that would make others cringe should they see you. That’s why you keep this little dance lesson where no one can see you. His and nervously touches your waist and you show him how to move to the symphony of sounds drifting out to the dance hall and spinning around in the night air before falling over the two of you like a cascading waterfall of music.   
The floral pattern of your dress swishes this way and that along with the skirt as Steve Gets the hang of things. He doesn’t dare try any fancy footwork, just moving in time to the basic steps that you’ve just shown him.  
Steve Rogers is no idiot. He knows that the world you live in wouldn’t take too kindly to the two of you being friends. It’s taboo to most, perverse to many.   
He wishes people would take the time to see that the color of someone’s skin has no indication of their intelligence, character, personality.  
The closest he’s come to a like-minded individual is his best friend, Bucky. Bucky doesn’t agree with the way things are, but he also doesn’t want Steve to get into trouble. So Steve keeps the fact that he’s definitely developing a little crush on you.  
In fact,it’s such a secret that he doesn’t even fully realize it until he’s staring at you in the moonlight. It’s corny and it’s happened to so, so many others,… but your pressed hair and skin and lips and eyes? They all look so beautiful under this nighttime sky.  
That’s why he drops his hand and quickly turns to face the other way, trying to release the thoughts of being more than just friends with you as he takes in a deep breath, over and over again.  
In and out.  
Breathe in, breathe in out.  
Let in the good air.  
Let out your wishes that you know can’t come true, Steve.  
‘’Steve, what’s wrong?’’  
‘’Nothing,’’ he says a bit too quickly, letting you know that something is, indeed, wrong.  
‘’Steve,’’ you sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder, ‘’Come on. I know you better than that.’’  
‘’Do you think that things will ever change? As far as society, I mean.’’  
It’s a question that you’ve often pondered. Are brighter days ahead? Is this the way things will always be or will your children have far more opportunities? You know someday this won’t be the reality.  
Right now, though, all you can do is live and hope or that day.  
‘’What about, like… do you think people will be allowed to love who they want,’’ Steve questions after you tell him all of that.  
‘’I do. I really, really do.’’  
Maybe then you wouldn’t be going o n date with Coleman after work on Monday. Maybe you’d be able to go out with the man who you really want to be with, the man who you know you can’t be with. In another place, time, world, or life.  
But not here. Not right now.  
You know it’s impossible for you to be with Steve right now It’d be illegal for the two of you to marry, and your parents would shun you. Jacob would never talk to you again and he’d definitely rope your other brother into ignoring you. You know that all you would have left would be Jane,and even she would not be too thrilled about that turn of events.  
Steve knows how dangerous it’d be for you to be together. Even you two talking has people turning their heads which is why it’s better done in private. Any relationship would be a ‘’No’’ and would fizzle out and fade to darkness before he could even start the spark, let alone the fire of love to keep it going.  
That doesn’t stop him from confessing that he feels something for you, from confessing that he can’t think about you, from asking if he can kiss you.  
It doesn’t stop you from admitting the same thing, that you’ve been there too many times to count lately, from letting his pink lips press to your lips.  
It’s short, it’s sweet, it’s simple. It’s a promise- a non verbal agreement to see where this thing goes. He takes your hand, and presses a kiss to the back of it like he has seen Bucky do to so many dates before.  
From the giggle you emit, he must be o the right track.  
But that’s where you part. The club is shutting down and Jane will be looking for you and you’ve better get home and change before your mother checks on you two.   
So you say goodnight. Give him your phone number. Tell him to hang up if your dad or your older brother picks up.   
Collect Jane and your things and leave.  
‘’And just where have you been all night,’’ she raises an eyebrow as she questions you.  
‘’Oh, just talking to a friend.’’  
It’s not a lie. Not really. It’s partial omission of the truth, yes, but.. Jane wouldn’t understand.   
You don't’ even understand.  
That’s why you go on your Monday night date with Jeremy and agree to see him again on Friday.  
Because you’re seeing Steve two towns over, having a picnic together at his favorite spot, on Saturday.  
Guess which date you prefer?  
‘’My buddy doesn’t mind us using his apartment. He knows what it’s like to go on a date with a pretty girl like you,’’ Steve clears his throat, fixing his tie before taking a drink of his water.  
‘’Steve, stop being so nervous,’’ you shake your head fondly, ‘’I already like you.’’  
Steve is not Bucky. Girls always look at Bucky, not Steve. Even Steve’s dates want Bucky.  
It’s why he’s a little hesitant when he brings Back to the club that night, knowing full well that you’ll be there with Jane.  
Worse case scenario, Bucky is shocked but is polite and asks Steve what the heck is going on later.  
Best case scenario, his best friend gets along swimmingly with his best girl, and the two of you continue this relationship for as long as you can.  
Steve is not stupid. Neither are you. That’s been established.  
There’s no foreseeable way for this relationship to last long term. That’s been established, too.  
Your relationship has to be kept behind closed doors. It hurts you and breaks his heart every time you see each other, but it’s for the best. It’s all you can do right now. Stolen moments are taken advantage of, and you two discover just how meant to be you are between kisses and conversations about the future and the changes that it may hold.  
You don’t want to live your love life this way. Hiding Him away as he hides you away is awful. You know it’ll change, and you’re living for that day, but in the meantime… you can’t hold your boyfriend or kiss him in public. You live in a world that sees you very different from the way that you two really are, that see this relationship as something that’s contaminated.  
Everything is not black and white, even in a world that appears to be,  
So it’s with hesitation hat you tell Jae that night. Your parents are under the impression that you two are going to have a night on the town. And you’re.  
The difference? She’ll be meeting Steve,  
‘’Daddy is going to flip his wig. He’s going to snap his cap!,’’ Jane hisses at you as you pin your hair, ‘’Have you lost your mind?’’  
‘’Momma always did say I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my body. I guess I have,’’ you shrug, looking at your sister in the mirror.  
‘’This is not funny, and you know it. You know how dangerous this is!’’  
‘’I did not tell you this so that you could judge me,’’ you stand, facing Jane, ‘’You are my sister, my best friend. I love you and I can not keep a secret from you any longer.’’  
She shakes her head, smoothing hair brown hair out of her face and taking the short tresses behind the rear, ‘’Fine. He’s not Jeremy but I’ll Meet him if it’ll make you happy.’’  
‘’Well, don’t you sound like an eager beaver.’’  
‘’Don’t push it.’’  
Jane has her arm looped through yours when you arrive at the club. The regular patrons have begun accustomed to seeing Steven and some even say hey to him as they pass his table. So, no, that’s not what’s unusual to you.  
What’s unusual is the fact that he has a man sitting with him that you’ve never seen before, but you’ve definitely heard about before.  
This must be Bucky.   
‘’You didn’t say anything about it being him and him being a friend,’’ Jane narrows her eyes at oy.  
Little do you know that Bucky and Steve are having a similar conversation across the way.  
‘’You didn’t say…’’   
‘’I didn’t think it mattered.’’  
‘’It shouldn’t Steve,’’ Bucky sings, ‘’But you know it is. It shouldn’t be but can we do to change that?’’  
Bucky means well. He does. But Steve Doesn’t wanna hear it.  
HIs eyes are focused on you and anything else and anyone else doesn’t matter.  
‘’Hey,’’ he shakes your hand, knowing he can’t embrace or kiss you here.  
‘’Hi. Um, Steve, this is my sister. Jane.’’  
‘’Hello,’’ she sticks her hand out. ‘’Nice to finally meet you.’’  
‘’Nice to meet you,too. And this is my best friend, James Buchanan Barnes.’’  
The moment he says that, Jane and Bucky lock eyes.  
It’s something straight out of a radio show- you can see the connection.  
‘’Hello,’’ she says mildly, timidly.  
‘’It’s nice to meet you two. You can call me Bucky.’’  
Steve whispers to you, ‘’That’s a good sign. He only lets me and his mother call him that,’’  
There’s something building between Jane and Bucky. Within these four walls, you can dance with Steve and she can dance with Bucky. People am I think something of it , but hey say nothing. It’s an unspoken rule, that this is a place for having fun. Most people here don’t mind Steve and they don’t mind his friend by association. He’s kind Treats everyone the same, form the other waiters to the bandleader to the owner.  
So you’re safe within these four walls, where you can’t show him how much you love him but can enjoy acing with him as Jane dancing with Bucky.  
It’s pure bliss and you don’t feel a care in the world.  
Neither does Jane, if her giggles as she and Bucky talk indicate anything.  
You can relax and just be you, and they can be them, and it works.  
Little do you know that Jeremy’s sister and your brother’s current girl are sitting at a table on the other side of the room and can see everything.  
You enjoy tonight, not knowing it may be all you have left of this fantasy.  
Because tomorrow, the truth will be exposed.  
And your day dream may turn into a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN ANY MARVEL CHARACTERS OR THEIR FICTIONAL WORLDS,COUNTRIES, CITIES, OR UNIVERSES.


	3. Chapter 3

TRIGGER WARNINES AND THEMES- Racial discrimination, segregation, racism, terms used in the 1940s like ‘’Colored’’, disapproval of relationships, heartbreak, mention of death, mentions of unreciprocated feelings.   
This chapter takes place the night of and then a week after the last chapter! Jane and Reader live in Harlem, Bucky and Steve live in Brooklyn. I’ve had a lot of help with this, so I hope it’s historically accurate! Just to recap- Steve met reader and they hit it off nearly immediately. Due to the rules and regulations of segregation at the time, the two can not really be seen together in public. Their safe haven? The dance hall where he works, and she frequents when she is done cleaning house on the weekends. There, Steve and Reader introduced Jane, Reader’s sister, to Bucky, and those two are in love.  
collaboration fic with @starsshines-blog  
It’s late night when Steve and Bucky walk you and Jane home. Well, they walk you to the corner of your street. You know that your daddy will be sitting on the porch rain or snow or muggy weather whenever you and your sister are out this late.  
He knows you two went out for a night on the town.  
He knows that you two went to a dance hall.  
But if he ever knew that you’d been dancing and not just ‘’enjoying’’ the music, he’d lose it.  
Especially if he saw the color of the skin of the man you’d been dancing with.  
Jane and Bucky are lagging a few steps behind. His coat is over her shoulders and she’s giggling and whatever he’s saying before he turns her to press a kiss that somehow looks both sweet and sultry to her waiting lips.  
‘’Those two are a perfect match,’’ Steve tells you.  
Where Bucky is practical, Steve is passionate. Bucky knows that this probably won’t work, but he’s having a good time with Jane and he truly cares for her. And they’re both trying not to fall to deep, trying not to dive into a figurative pool that is just as segregated as the literal pools.  
Steve, on the other hand, would probably be willing to risk it all for you, for the chance at a romance that you both know could never really go anywhere. Not right here, not right now.  
‘’I think we are too, though,’’ Steve tells you as he gently presses a kiss to the skin on the back of your hand.  
He’s far from smooth, but he’s trying. You’re his doll and he want you to feel just a special as he’d make any other girl feel, regardless of skin tone. It’s sweet and it’s a taste of something you don’t often get too much- equality.  
It’s something that you’re trying not to get too used to. Because you know where this will end up. Steve and Bucky will marry other women and you’ll probably be engaged to Jeremy within the year. Jane will meet some nice fellow at her job and your parents will be happy that their children didn’t break the mold.  
You’ll try to forget Jane’s happiness, the way she broke out of her shell around Bucky. And she’ll try to forget he way all her senses seem to come alive around this man, how she’s willing to take a risk that could end horribly. This may be the least practical thing that either she or Bucky has ever done.  
You’ll try to forget how the girl who always seemed to have a good head on her shoulders fell so hard and so fast for a man that she can’t be with. Try to forget the way he told you he loved you tonight as you left the dance hall earlier than usual. Try to forget that just last week he told you he may be falling for you and he most certainly has, even with the fact that you two have not seen each other in a week.  
You’re in love with Steve Rogers and it’s probably the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done.  
And not because of the color of his skin. No, that couldn’t bother you. How everyone would react does, but Steve himself could never be a problem.  
Dangerous because you know no other man will ever compare to him.   
Dangerous because you already know you don’t want anybody else but he attainable yet unattainable man in front of you.  
Dangerous because you know the extent to which he cares for you, and in this hazy, romance filled, rush of emotions, you’ve come to realize one thing.  
This is the love of your life, and you can’t even ever enjoy having him in your life.  
Being with Steve and Bucky was for you and Jane, respectively, like being in your own little bubble. The eyes of the club diverted themselves to ignore your love affair, knowing that Steve was okay and anyone that he is friends with must be okay, too, right?   
And who would’ve thought that two boys from Brooklyn would fall in love with two girls from Harlem?  
Too bad that you and Jane did not know about two pairs of eyes watching your every movement at the dance hall just last night, and the week before, wondering why you were out with Steve Rogers and not Jeremy.   
Those two sets of eyes? Belonged two your brother’s girlfriend and Jeremy’s sister herself.  
‘’Don’t you look lovely in that dress. Red is most definitely your color,’’ Bernadette gushes, washing her hands in the porcelain sink of the women’s restroom.   
Bernadette Coleman is Jeremy’s twin sister. Whereas he is shy and quiet, she is over the moon with her ideas. He’s more reserved and everyone seems to know who Bernadette is. She’s a socialite in the making, just like he mother. They are, by far, one of the wealthiest black families in the community, if not the wealthiest, after all.  
So, you thank her politely, keeping your head low. She’s a gossip, and she’s known for twisting words. You can still remember when she said that your brother must be attracted to her when all he said was, ‘’It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?’’   
With Bernadette, it’s better to do just that. Besides, right after work tomorrow, you and Jane are meeting up with Bucky and Steve. You’ve got some exciting news to tell James about how your current employer wants to help you with paying for nursing school.   
Sunday morning church service has just ended, and everyone is beginning to go home to prepare for Sunday evening dinner. Your family is no doubt still standing outside. Your mother will be speaking to the first Lady of the church, the pastor’s wife, as your dad discusses the sermon with your pastor some more. Jane is probably keeping track of your younger brother as he runs around with some more of his little friends, reminding him not to get his Sunday pants dirty or he’ll be in dep trouble with mother.  
Your older brother is probably talking to Bernadette’s family, telling all about how he plans to marry her one day. Jacob is a charmer, and he knows exactly what to say. It’s probably why he’s currently getting Jeremy to agree to a double date. He wants to make sure you don’t ruin this for yourself, knowing that Jeremy is really into you and that you could be with Jeremy if you’d only give him a true chance.  
Oh, and if Steve Rogers didn’t’ exist.  
But if Bernadette has anything to say about it, your little fling with Mr. Steve Rogers will be over with before your mother can even set the chicken on the table for dinner later this evening.  
‘’I have seen you dancing at the club a couple of times. You are mighty good. You know, some of us just can’t do that swing dancing.’’  
‘’It’s a gift I was blessed with, I suppose,’’ you respond, ‘’But my brother and I practice. We like to dance.’’   
‘’You should go out dancing with Jeremy then! My brother just loves to cut a rug,’’ Bernadette explains as she swipes some more ruby red lipstick onto her lips, ‘’My daddy would just about have a fit if he ever saw me dancing like that.’’  
‘’Oh, believe me,’’ you laugh, fixing your hair in the mirror, ‘’My dad would snap his cap if he knew about me dancing.’’   
‘’Yes, yes, I suppose he would. But I think he’d really be more concerned about you spending time all close and comfy with that white boyfriend of yours.’’  
You turn to face Bernadette, feeling the blood drain from your face as you use one hand to brace yourself against the bathroom sink.  
‘’I knew there had to be some reason you weren’t fawning all over my brother like every other woman in this town. Jeremy is rich, and he is good-looking, I guess. So, I had to ask myself, ‘Now why would this girl not want to be with him?’ Then I saw you twisting and cuddling up with that white boy at the club and I know.’’  
‘’Steve,’’ your mouth suddenly feels dry, ‘’His name is Steve.’’  
‘’I didn’t ask for all the details, honey,’’ she coos in a voice that is anything but sweet, ‘’You don’t need to explain that to me or to Jeremy. Who you need to be explaining that to is your parents.’’  
‘’They don’t know about Steve.’’  
‘’They do now,’’ she grins evilly, ‘’I suggest you get home. Something tells me you’re going to be having a slice of humble pie with that dinner tonight. You take care.’’  
She gathers her things and saunters out of the bathroom.  
The entire way out of the church, you beg and plead silently to yourself that she hasn’t told your family.   
From the blank expression on your mother’s face, the confused look on your younger brother’s face, the glares of your older brother and daddy, and Jane’s tear-stained cheeks, you know that she has done just that.  
This is the biggest scandal to rock your family since… well. Ever. It’s something that you know your parents will not take very lightly. The entire car ride home is silent, and you know that you’ll have to face the music.  
Come what may, you’re determined not to give up the little slice of happiness you’ve found yourself.  
Steve Rogers loves you, and he doesn’t care what color your skin is. He fell in love with you and he’s true to his words.   
That should be good enough for your parents.  
It has to be good enough for your parents.   
Right?

Wrong.  
Your dad is beyond livid, if there even is such a thing. His face is read and he’s pacing. Your younger brother has been sent o your grandmother’s house to eat dinner with her and your grandpa, because ‘’He’s too young and don’t need to see this!’’.  
Jacob is staring at you with a mixture of sadness, hurt, anger, and something you can’t quite identify.  
‘’How very dare you go to that nightclub without permission? Dancing all on those men when you know that you have a perfectly eligible bachelor in Jeremy?! And with a white boy, no less.’’  
‘’Daddy, it didn’t start off like that,’’ you tell the older man as Jane sits next to you, clutching the fabric of her skirt and staring at the wooden floor.  
You’re sure that all of the other tenants can hear you, and you’re surprised the landowners from next door haven’t come over yet. This may be your house, but the walls are thin.  
So, there’s no way they can’t all tell about the scandal that is currently shaking your family to the core.  
‘’Out all-night gallivanting with some white boy,’’ you daddy sneers, ‘’He doesn’t even respect you.’’  
‘’Yes, he does!’’  
‘’Young lady, I know that you are upset, but watch your tone,’’ your mother advises.  
It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that she never once agreed with your dad in the fifteen minutes that he’s been yelling at you, but she hasn’t said much to you, either.  
‘’And you, Jane. I am so disappointed in you,’’ your dad tells your younger sister who squeezes her eyes shut as if that wick shields her against your dad’s judgment and disapproval.  
‘’He’s probably just using you,’’ Jacob sighs, shaking his head, ‘’Is this… you know, physical?’’  
This is the last conversation that you want to be having right now.  
‘’Steve is not like that!’’  
‘’How would you know,’’’ your older brother snaps. ‘’You’ve known him a few weeks? Months? You don’t know him at all.’’  
‘’I know he cares about me! He loves me, and I love him!’’  
‘’Young lady!’’ your dad snaps, ‘’You both are forbidden from seeing those boys ever again. As long as you live in my house, you will live under my rules.’’  
That’s an ultimatum. You can be free to see Steve, and Jane can see Bucky, but you’ve both got to leave if you want to do that.   
But you work as a cleaning lady and you know that, until you start school, you don’t have the funds or the means to support yourself or Jane. She’s doing her best, even having picked up an extra job waitressing when she’s done at the library. But it’s not enough for the two of you to live on.  
So, that night, you lie awake in bed. You can hear Jane’s even breathing in the bed across from yours.  
‘’Jane. Janie? You up?’’  
She sniffles once before letting out an exhausted sigh.  
You’re not sure if it is from the lack of sleep or because of the day’s events. But she turns on the lamp in between your two beds and she looks every bit of drained as she must feel. Bags are under her eyes and she hasn’t even taken the time to properly prepare her hair for bed.  
‘’What’s wrong?’’  
‘’I can’t sleep,’’ you confess.  
‘’So, you are determined to make sure that I don’t either,’’ she raises a brow at you.  
Yup. She’s definitely picked up some things from Bucky.   
Honestly, Steve and Jane are more similar in mannerisms. Jane is quiet and usually keeps her head down but she’s not afraid to engage in a verbal argument if need be. You and Bucky both take things very seriously while walking on the wilder side of things.  
Yet, somehow, you feel for Steve and he fell for you, and the same for Bucky and Jane.  
Opposites attract.  
In more ways than one.   
‘’I’m going to keep seeing him. I’ve got to keep seeing him.’’  
‘’Have you flipped your wig,’’ Jane hisses quietly, ‘’Daddy will literally disown you. We knew this would have to end someday. Someday is just here for both of us.’’  
She lays back down then, staring at the cream-colored paint on your ceiling, eyes fixed on the crack from water damage that you’ve yet to fix.  
You can’t help but think about her words.  
‘’Someday is here.’’  
You knew that something between you and Steve could never be long term. It’s illegal, for one. You’d never even gotten to the point of meeting each other’s’ families because you know how this would end. It was a fantasy, one that you’d foolishly continued to entertain.  
And Jeremy still will give you a chance. Just from seeing you at dinner last week and at church today, you know that he is still very much smitten with you. It’d be the obvious thig to do. The smart thing. Jeremy has a good job, especially for a colored man in this day and age. He’d take good care of you, if you’d let him.  
But Steve…  
You’re brought out of your thoughts by the words that fall from Jane’s lips next: ‘’Bucky broke up with me.’’  
You sit up in bed, staring at your sister with a gaping expression.  
‘’Last night. At the club. Right before he walked us home,’’ she explains, ‘’He was making jokes, trying to make me feel better. I laughed but it did not feel the same. He says that he can’t do this to me anymore. Can’t end up breaking my heart for his own selfish desires.’’  
You mull that over when she goes back to bed, turning the light off and facing away from you so that you can’t see the tears on her face.  
You think about it as you make your way into your employer’s house, even as she generously hands you the check that her husband signed.  
You think about it when your mother presses your hair on Saturday morning so that you can go on a picnic with Jeremy that afternoon.  
You think about it when you tell Steve outside of the club that night that you can’t see him anymore.  
That you don’t want to see him anymore.  
You look away when his blue eyes begin to water, and you’re glad for he shadows that conceal your own tears.  
‘’If that’s what you want,’’ he crosses his thin arms over his chest.  
‘’It is.’’  
There’s a silent that you couldn’t cut with a steak knife, it’s so thick.  
‘’I still love you,’’ he clears his throat, ‘’I am always going to be in love with you. You’ll always be my best gal.’’  
So, he asks you if you can still be friends.  
And you agree that you can be pen pals.   
But you can’t see him anymore.  
So that’s how it goes.   
Jeremy begins seriously courting you a week later, and you are engaged six months later.  
You and Steve continue to send letters.  
You get married two years after you get engaged, on a bright and sunny day. The whole town is there, and your brother sits with his now wife as Jane sits with the man that married her just two weeks ago and her child.   
Your mother is dabbing at her eyes, stopping the tears.  
Your dad Is looking on proudly.  
Bernadette and Jeremy’s parents roll their eyes, wondering what Jeremy even see in you.  
You say your vows, committing yourself to Jeremy.  
In words.   
On paper.  
And in your mind.  
But your heart is still focused on the love that you lost, the love that couldn’t even something great if not for the way people view a man with Steve’s skin tone and a woman with your skin tone being together.   
You continue to receive letters until one day, in 1942 they just…  
Stop.  
You’re sitting on the porch with Jacob as he rocks his own newborn daughter back and forth. She’s asleep in his arms, and Jacob smiles down at the near carbon copy of himself.  
‘’Have you ever loved someone so much?’’  
‘’I have.’’  
He sighs, because he knows you mean Steve.  
Jacob has been very vocal about his opinions on his sisters’ relationships. He wants the best for you and Jane. But with he world you live in, you could never be with Steve and Jane could never be with Bucky. It would’ve gotten all four of you hurt, thrown into jail, or both.   
Or worse.  
But he can tell that Jeremy is putting his love into you and he’s happy, and you’re trying to love Jeremy while being just content.  
That’s not okay with him.  
‘’I know you loved him. I really, really wish we lived in a world that would’ve let you two be together.’’  
Sincerity shines in Jacob’s eyes, and you can see something.   
He’s not upset with the fact that you’re black and Steve is white, oh no.  
His hurt comes rom the world you live in.  
‘’This came to mama and daddy’s house yesterday. I got to it before they could see it.’’  
He hands you a crumpled-up note, one that makes your heart leap into your throat.  
And you don’t know why the telegram comes to you.  
Only you do.  
‘’You’ll always be my best gal.’’  
Those words both simultaneously crush and invigorate you. They wrap themselves around you like Steve’s arms would and bare down on top of you the way Jeremy’s love does because this is all just a bit too much.  
He’s gone.  
Steve Rogers is gone.  
And you never even got the chance to say goodbye.  
So, you cry and scream along with your niece that you wake up, and Jacob just lets you get it all-out.  
Because you purposely broke Steve Roger’s heart to protect him.  
But he broke your heart protecting you and others.  
That’s something that you don’t think you’ll ever forget: his selflessness.   
You think about that at night, and Jeremy can tell that something is wrong. He knows that you love him but you’re not in love with him. Knows that your mind is very far away from this and your heart has never been in it.  
Maybe that’s why he doesn’t say anything when you announce that your college is experiment with new technology by Howard Stark that could preserve someone- keep them alive and not let them age.  
‘’You’d rather be frozen in time than without Steve Rogers. Am I right?’’ Jeremy doesn’t look up from his peas, rolling them around on his fork.  
That night, tears are shed, and a heart is broken, and dorms are slammed but you’ve made up your mind.  
Jeremy doesn’t flinch as you continue to stay with him pressing loveless kiss to his lips and smiling with eyes that show you’d rather be anywhere else.  
‘’I can learn to love you.’’  
You say it so earnestly that he believes you and decided to keep the divorce papers hidden in his desk drawer.  
Stave would want you to be happy. And you know that, with time, you can be happy with Jeremy.  
So, you do your best to step into the role of being Jeremy’s wife.  
And Jeremy does his best to love you the way you wish Steve could.  
You learn to love Jeremy three years into your marriage and tis good. It’s solid. You’re content.  
Three months after your third wedding anniversary, you agree to be apart of the test run. They’ll freeze you for a week and see what it does to you.  
Jeremy doesn’t like it but he agrees.  
Because is in love with you.  
And you love him.  
But a little part of you will always belong to Steve Rogers.  
Because he will always be the one that got away, the one you couldn’t let stay.  
And you?  
You will always be Steve Rogers’ best girl.  
Reader will return in Epilogue.

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER- I OWN NO MARVEL CHARACTERS, I JUST REALLY LIKE MAKING FANFICTION.


End file.
